How to love yourself. Tip #1

Don't take before and after photos.

It is possible to make healthy changes in your life without hating who you are now. But a lot of money is made by companies that profit from self-disgust. The discourse of self-improvement is thick with the condemnation of the Before. But working from a place of self-hatred rarely, if ever, leads to a place of happiness. Do what you do because you love yourself. If you don't have time to be active because you are busy being there for other people, dig down to the place where you know you deserve to spend energy on yourself. Work from the knowledge that you must take care of yourself. That is the practice that can move you forward in health and happiness.

Yogurt face

Right now you are chewing on the straps to your highchair. Your bib has been turned around into a cape, and you have yogurt in the creases of your thighs. That's our fault. We take your pants off to let you eat because it cuts down on the laundry. You've just shoved a green bean into your mouth and you are intently watching your papa work on a painting of a dhaka crow that we plan to hang on your wall. Watching the chaos of this meal is absolutely love to me.

Tonight I am remembering that you are not a project. You are a rapidly learning creature. You are becoming who you are, and while I hope to offer what I can, you will be who you are. I read a great bit of advice today about how to support an introvert. As an extrovert, it was priceless. I sometimes take my belief into experiential knowledge too far, and start to think that others think in the same basic way I do. Which they don't. I have no idea how you think. I also remembered that I do better in conversation than in monologue. Now you are making your zombie noises. You are moments away from a bath. But I just realised I haven't glue-gunned closed your new bath toys' orifices yet. That was a fairly difficult sentence in terms of grammar. But anyway, I love you.